Gaslighting is a vicious trap of mental harassment, Let’s know how to save ourselves

How to Get Out of Gaslighting: In today’s era, when we have become very aware of mental health, we come to know such things that were considered normal and ignored. One such thing is called gaslighting. It is a very clever tool of mental harassment. In this, the person who is being mentally exploited is made to feel that he is exploiting the other person.

In this, the person is made to feel that his thoughts, his thinking, and his memory are all weak, and after that, gradually, the person’s confidence and personality are hollowed out. This mental harassment increases to such an extent that the victim keeps blaming himself the most, he feels that he is the one behind the problem. So now we will know what gaslighting is, how to identify it, and how to get out of it.

What is gaslighting

Gaslighting is a kind of mental strategy that a person uses on another person intentionally or unintentionally. In this, the person completely changes the mind of the person in front. The accused takes the victim to such an extent through manipulation that he starts controlling the thoughts of the victim. 

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This mental exploitation reaches its peak when the person gaslighting starts questioning the memory of the victim. The word gaslight was first used in a 1944 film of the same name. In this film, the husband tries to take over his wife’s property by proving her insane.  During gaslighting, the accused person lies repeatedly and by making various allegations against the victim, he proves those allegations to be true in the eyes of the victim.

Signs of gaslighting

• In this, the victim always feels that maybe they did not understand the accused’s point correctly.
• Apologizing to the accused repeatedly is also a sign that no matter whose mistake it is, if you are forced to apologize, then somewhere you are a victim of gaslighting.
• People influenced by gaslighting are unable to reach a decision. They ask different people several times before making any decision, because they can no longer make a decision. The accused takes advantage of this and whatever decision he takes, he takes it according to his wishes.
• The accused person repeatedly tells the victim that they are overreacting. You are becoming very emotional. In this way, the victim is humiliated. The feelings of the victim, which are valid, are also invalidated.
• The victim starts living in so much fear that he is afraid to share his real feelings with anyone. The victim has a lot of difficulty and trouble expressing his thoughts.

Effect of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is like a slow poison. It acts gradually, but is very dangerous.

• People who are victims of gaslighting are often depressed.
• They develop self-doubt.
• They often have frequent anxiety.
• They always keep asking people for validation.
• A person who is a victim of gaslighting keeps losing their identity and personality.

How to get out of Gaslighting

Now, the biggest question is how to get out of gaslighting. So for this, it is very important to be aware first. Understand the pattern of gaslighting of the accused and adopt the measures given below to get out of that trap-

1. First of all, know that the person who gaslights you is close to you. He takes undue advantage of your trust. Trust and respect are very important in any relationship, so understand this pattern whether you are getting equal respect and trust in the relationship or not.
2. If you start feeling that the person in front is gaslighting you, then do not tell him directly about this, but try to explain to him by talking about other things. If that person is not gaslighting you, then they will understand your point and will talk about those problems with complete honesty. But if that person is gaslighting you, then they will start manipulating you with half of your words. You will have to decode this thing. 
3. If you have ended your support system during gaslighting, then connect it again. The more you stay connected to your network, the more mental support you will get. If friends stay with you on this journey, then you will get a lot of help. 
4. Once you understand that you are being gaslighted and the person in front is not ready to accept this, then if you can move away from that person, you should move away from that person. If you cannot move away from that person, then prepare yourself in such a way that their words, their reactions stop affecting you. 
5. If you feel that the person doing gaslighting has started exploiting you unbearably, then you should seek professional help. You should also talk about this with your family. Discuss these issues openly and do not let yourself become a victim of exploitation.

The most important tip for gaslighting survivors

After coming out of the trap of gaslighting, the most important thing for you is to maintain your boundaries. Yes, you are a gaslight survivor. You and only you know what the boundaries of your every relationship are, so if anyone breaks them, then do not hesitate to distance yourself from them.

This is very important for you; otherwise, the person who breaks the boundary will start harassing you mentally, because you will become an easy prey for him. So do not let your boundaries break at all, no matter who is in front of you. Make yourself a priority. From self-care to self-expression, you have to give priority to yourself everywhere.

FAQ- How to Get Out of Gaslighting

How to respond to gaslighting?

To avoid a gaslighter, it is a good way to be indifferent to what that person says. Along with this, it is also important to set your healthy boundaries. If needed, keeping a distance from that person can also be an option.